My husband, Bryan, used to travel to San Jose every other week for work. For a year and a half, I never had to pack a lunch for him to take with him. He was either gone, or he was working from home and had lunch with me and the kids.

Prior to his year of traveling when he worked here in town, I HATED making his lunch. It wasn’t so much the task I hated as much as the nuisance I found it to be that I felt obligated to do it. I had a bad attitude, and often forgot or complained or mumbled under my breath as I threw things together.

Bryan is no longer traveling, and now takes the bus into downtown Seattle every morning. It occurred to me the other day as I zipped up his lunch bag and stuck it in the fridge that I’ve actually found joy in sending Bryan off to work with a good lunch. Sure, sometimes I’m tired, or I’m sick of being in the kitchen, or it totally slips my mind – but my attitude is different about it now.

I love taking care of Bryan in this way.

Some of you are probably like, I don’t get it. Why can’t he make his own lunch?! Why is this such a big deal? But for me? And for him? And the needs and issues and insecurities we both have? And the road blocks we’ve faced in the past? Trust me that this is a huge heart change for me, and a huge blessing to Bryan that goes way beyond matching plastic containers filled with last night’s leftovers.

Two years ago Bryan and I were stuck in a very tight spot, and at the time I would have never imagined we would have the relationship we do now. It’s not perfect, and we still hit our road blocks, but we are no longer contending against one another. In tough situations we are listening to each other more, and working together toward the same end goal: reconciliation.

I was an angry person with a hard heart toward others, particularly toward my husband and children. Anger mastered me, and the selfishness that fueled it only seemed to grow. I did not serve my family out of love, but obligation.

Then Jesus took my heart and changed it, just as the Lord says in Ezekiel 36:26, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

Even though some days it seems I need to lay my anger at the feet of Jesus at least a thousand times, I trust him that my heart is changed, and that I am no longer mastered by my anger. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” I’ve experienced the kindness of Jesus through his grace. He softened my heart toward Bryan, and led us into reconciliation.