If I was king, the saga of David and Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 11-12 would be required reading. Although the story tells itself, here are the high points.

• David, “Man after God’s heart”, king over Israel, model of virtue, sees Bathsheba bathing on the rooftop one evening. 
• He sends for her, sleeps with her,  and impregnates her.
• Her husband, the faithful soldier Uriah, is sent for, that he might sleep with her, and thereby cover up the affair. 
• Uriah, out of respect for his comrades still at war, repeatedly refuses to have sex with his wife. 
• Cover up failed, David decides to whack Uriah by sending him to the area of fiercest fighting, where he ultimately dies.
• With Uriah out of the way, he moves her in and marries her. 
• In chapter 12 , the prophet Nathan calls David out, illustrating the depth of his sin with the story of a man with a lamb.
• In verse 13 David  responds, ”I have sinned against The Lord”.

David went through the 10 commandments like a checklist, making Richard Nixon (Watergate) and Bill Clinton (Lewinsky) look like Sunday school teachers. And in the end, all he has to say is  ”I have sinned against The Lord”?

Somehow this confession doesn’t do it for me. Is he sorry he sinned, or sorry he got caught? Fortunately the answer to that question is found in Psalm 51. Read in the context of 2 Samuel, it takes on extraordinary meaning. Over and over David reveals to us the man he is, by completely owning his transgressions (v3), and repeatedly seeking God’s mercy. I am thoroughly convinced by his prayer that he understands, he gets it. This is reinforced later in Psalm 139, v23-24,  where he invites God… ”Search me.., see if there is any offensive way in me…”

Because of his remorse and repentance, I can relate to him. 

• Like David I am most likely to be blind to my own sin. 
• Like David I want no one to know. 
• Like David the effect of my sin is real and far reaching.  
• Like David, I need at least one Nathan in my life who loves me enough and has the balls to call me out. 
• Like David, I am not condemned forever to swim in the cesspool of my own transgressions; God excused me from that with a cross.

The power of God to redeem and overcome the power of unresolved sin is loosed by the  the deep remorse and confession of the sinner. It enables forgiveness, and thereby restoration and reconciliation.

So how should we respond to relational conflict in marriage, family and the church? We must begin with an honest and careful examination of our relationship with Christ, asking Him to reveal to us our own sin and how it contributes to the conflict, that we might confess it and repent. By this action we unilaterally initiate the process of reconciliation, not only with Him, but with all others involved.