By Pastor Adam Sinnett

From Sept 21st thru Nov 30th, 2008 Mars Hill Church studied the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon). The series, called The Peasant Princess, addressed important, albeit controversial, issues pertaining to gender, marriage, relationships, dating and sex. You can listen and watch previous sermons in this series, among many others, at westseattle.marshillchurch.org under “Media”. You can also follow this link to read questions and answers on Christian Sex (mature content warning) that Pastor Mark addressed on the Mars Hill Church blog.

The purpose of this series of posts was to answer questions posed by those attending West Seattle that Pastor Mark was unable to get to. These are some remaining questions that were asked.

Q: What does a wife do that is deserted by a man who claims God as Solomon did?

A: This needs to be worked through in person and can’t be adequately addressed in this context. Don’t go it alone. Get in touch with us. It’s important that you work through this in community. Email care@marshillchurch.org to set up a meeting with a pastor or westseattlecommunity@marshillchurch.org to get in a community group.

Q: How do you encourage your husband to spend time with God (apart from prayer) when it doesn’t seem like he wants to?

A: First, as you mention, be in prayer that God would change his heart and desires. (Acts 16:14; Luke 24:45) Second, even more importantly than spending time with God is determining what he actually believes. Is he really a Christian? Does his life show fruit of being in relationship with Jesus? (Mt 7:15-20; Luke 3:8) There’s no sense encouraging him to spend time with God if your husband is not really in relationship with him. The real question is: Why does he not want to spend time with God? Third, if you haven’t already, let him know that this is an area of concern for you and an area in which you would like for him to lead. Fourth, don’t be a nag about it (Pr 27:15), as that will only serve to create further distance, but do lead by example. (1 Cor 7:13-14) Seek opportunities to lovingly share what you are learning during your times in the Bible without trying to “rub it in his face”. Fifth, do what you can to surround him with other men to challenge him perhaps by joining a community group together. To get plugged into a community group email westseattlecommunity@marshillchurch.org.

Q: What is the name of the bible commentator coming here?

A: D.A. Carson will be preaching from the Mars Hill pulpit on Sunday, Dec 7th.

Q: How do I convince my Christian friend to not date a non-Christian girl after he’s been with her for 4 years?

A: Ultimately, your friend has to make that decision for himself but you can help influence him if he’s open to talking about it. I answered a similar question during week one, “What about Christians marrying non-Christians?” Pray for them. Talk to them. Get them involved at Mars Hill. Show them that you are more concerned for their welfare than merely being proven “right” about their relationship. (Php 2:3)

Q: My wife and I have been married 1 year. I was sexually active before meeting her. These sins hinder our intimacy. Can we achieve the Song of Solomon kind of marriage?

A: Yes, though it may take some time as you work through your past and bring it to Jesus together. The key is honest, open communication and bringing your sin (past and present) into the light. (1 John 1:5-10) Depending on your situation it may be helpful for you both to walk through a redemption group together. Whatever the case, it should be addressed and worked through, not merely avoided because it is difficult. You can get connected to a redemption group by emailing redemption@marshillchurch.org.

Q: If Solomon went astray did he lose his salvation?

A: If Ecclesiastes is Solomon’s book of repentance, which some commentators believe, Solomon did end well. Yet, did he lose his salvation along the way? No, the scriptures do not teach that you can lose your salvation if you are truly a Christian. (John 6:38-40; 10:27-29; Ro 8:1; Eph 1:13-14; 1 Peter 1:5) It is possible for a Christian to walk away from the Lord and return later, as it seems is the case with Solomon. It is also possible to look like a Christian for a season but in the end fall away never to turn back. (Mt 7:21-23; Mk 4:16-17; John 15:1-7; 1 John 2:19) Biblically, those who are truly Christians will persevere in faith throughout their lives and those who persevere in faith until the end are truly Christians. (John 8:31-32; Col 1:22-23; Heb 3:12,14) In other words, those who are truly Christians will show their faith by persevering until the end. Far from giving us an excuse for licentious living, this should cause us to trust more deeply and rely more heavily on Jesus. (Php 2:12-13)

Q: What if you are in your twenties and think this is all really gross & it makes you scared of marriage?

A: My first question would be “Why does it seem gross and make you scared?” It may be that you’ve had negative experiences growing up that have left you with a lasting unhealthy view of sex within marriage. Pastor Mark addressed this issue during the first week of the series in “Let Him Kiss Me” in which he described how our attitudes towards sex as typically fitting into one of three categories: “Gross”, “God” or “Gift. If you haven’t watched it, I recommend it. On the other hand, it could also simply be that you’re not ready and God is protecting you until you are (Song 3:5; Pr 4:23). If this is the case, you’ll be ready when it’s time. If you need help sorting out your history and recalibrating your view of sex within marriage email care@marshillchurch.org.

For more questions and answers from the Song of Songs series, check out:

Pastor Adam’s Full Follow Up Q&A List

Sermon and Q&A Session Audio/Video

Pastor Mark’s Q&A on MHC Blog