From Sept 21st thru Nov 30th, 2008 Mars Hill Church studied the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon). The series, called The Peasant Princess, addressed important, albeit controversial, issues pertaining to gender, marriage, relationships, dating and sex. You can listen and watch previous sermons in this series, among many others, at westseattle.marshillchurch.org under “Media”. You can also follow this link to read questions and answers on Christian Sex (mature content warning) that Pastor Mark addressed on the Mars Hill Church blog.

The purpose of this series of posts was to answer questions posed by those attending West Seattle that Pastor Mark was unable to get to. These are some remaining questions that were asked.

Q: “How can I better serve my husband who is in Iraq for another 2 months?”

A: This is obviously a difficult situation. There may not be a lot you can do depending on the amount of privacy your husband has while speaking with you over the phone or via internet chat (i.e. iChat, Skype, etc). Pastor Mark answers a similar question here.

Q: “As a single mom, how can I make up for the lack of godly influence from my daughter’s dad?”
Q: “I’m raising my child alone and it breaks my heart that she doesn’t have a daddy. How can I be enough on my own?”
Q: “What can moms do for their children when the father is deceased or has left them?”

A: While your child may not have an earthly father, at least one that loves Jesus, he/she has a Heavenly Father who is “merciful, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin…” (Ex 34:6-7) God the Father loves the fatherless and the widow (Jer 22:3). Love Jesus, love your child, get involved in the church and prayerfully surround yourself with a community of godly brothers and sisters in Christ. While you are carrying a great burden, Christ alone is sufficient. (2 Cor 12:9) He and he alone is your refuge, strength and a very present help in trouble. (Ps 46:1) Be sure to let Mars Hill, particularly whichever campus you attend, know of your needs.

Q: “How do you apply these principles to being a good uncle to a girl who does not have a good dad?”

A: Prayerfully consider ways you can assist and ask the mother what would be of most help to her.

Q: “What book do you suggest for new husbands?”

A: Your Bible. Read it. Love it. Memorize it. Meditate upon it. Share what you’re learning in it with your spouse. Pastor Mark also recommends some books here.

Q: “As a married couple, how do you extend (even offer) ‘cover’ to women in community who have none?”

A: There’s really only one way: Just ask.

Q: “I am a mature woman single for 20 years now after being married for 18. How do you recommend finding a husband at this stage in life?”

A: Unfortunately, there’s no magic formula. However, you increase your changes through prayer and being actively involved in the church community (service, community group, trips, etc).

For more questions and answers from the Song of Songs series, check out:

Pastor Adam’s Full Follow Up Q&A List

Sermon and Q&A Session Audio/Video

Pastor Mark’s Q&A on MHC Blog

From Sept 21st thru Nov 30th, 2008 Mars Hill Church studied the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon). The series, called The Peasant Princess, addressed important, albeit controversial, issues pertaining to gender, marriage, relationships, dating and sex. You can listen and watch previous sermons in this series, among many others, at westseattle.marshillchurch.org under “Media”. You can also follow this link to read questions and answers on Christian Sex (mature content warning) that Pastor Mark addressed on the Mars Hill Church blog.

The purpose of this series of posts was to answer questions posed by those attending West Seattle that Pastor Mark was unable to get to. These are some remaining questions that were asked.

Q: “What’s your opinion about sexual intimacy (marital, of course) on the Sabbath? Is there any spiritual reason to feel uncomfortable with being intimate on the Sabbath?”

A: The law has been fulfilled and our Sabbath rest is now in Jesus Christ (Mt 5:17; 12:8; Luke 6:5) It is perfectly appropriate to be sexually intimate with your wife on the Sabbath.

Q: “How does one balance the need to be beautiful with this reality – people starve for lack of food and my pedicure money could save a life?”

A: How we spend the money God has given us to steward calls for wisdom and discernment. It can be helpful to prioritize the relationships in your life (Jesus, spouse, children, family, others) to provide a guide in decision-making. (Mt 22:37-40; 1 Tim 5:8; Eph 5:22-33) What is of preeminent importance is making note of what is controlling, guiding and motivating your heart as you make such decisions. (1 Cor 10:31)

Q: “What are your thoughts on cosmetic plastic surgery?”

A: Pastor Mark has answered a similar question here.

Q: “Other than Song of Songs, what are good scriptures for couples to study and grow in their relationship in Christ and each other?”

A: Honestly, any time you spend in scripture and prayer with your spouse will help grow the two of you together whether you decide to study a particular section of scripture together (Ephesians 5:22-33 would be a great place to start), focus on a book (such as one of the gospels), read through the Bible in a designated amount of time or simply share what you are individually learning during your Bible times.

Pastor Mark recommends many books (outside the Bible) here that you may also find helpful.

Q: “As adult women living in community are we accountable to each other for where we spend our nights?”

A: This would fall under the category of loving your sisters in Christ and seeking their safety and welfare. (Mt 7:12; John 13:34-35) It would be best to come to a mutual understanding with your roommates on what this practically looks like so that everyone is on the same page.

Q: “My wife has done things in her past (like oral sex) that she won’t do in our marriage (maybe due to shame?). How do I properly love her through this.”

A: I answered a similar question in the Peasant Princess Follow-Up #6 under, “My wife says that oral sex makes her feel like a prostitute. What are some ways I can serve her and help her gain a redeemed view of this?” You can find that here.

Q: “Is anal sex a sin? What about sex on your period?”

A: Pastor Mark answered these questions here (anal sex) and here (cycle).

Q: “What, if any, are the qualifications for a good marriage counselor? What are obvious disqualifications? Thanks!”

A: The three most important qualifications are that they love Jesus (Mt 22:37), use and apply the Bible (2 Tim 3:16; Heb 4:12), and have a good track record within marriage (i.e. “practice what they preach”; James 1:22-25).

Q: “In these days with sex so open how can we prepare our kids to have a biblical life through teen years?”

A: Pastor Mark answered a similar question here. It begins while they’re still little, but it’s never too late.

For more questions and answers from the Song of Songs series, check out:

Pastor Adam’s Full Follow Up Q&A List

Sermon and Q&A Session Audio/Video

Pastor Mark’s Q&A on MHC Blog

From Sept 21st thru Nov 30th, 2008 Mars Hill Church studied the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon). The series, called The Peasant Princess, addressed important, albeit controversial, issues pertaining to gender, marriage, relationships, dating and sex. You can listen and watch previous sermons in this series, among many others, at westseattle.marshillchurch.org under “Media”. You can also follow this link to read questions and answers on Christian Sex (mature content warning) that Pastor Mark addressed on the Mars Hill Church blog.

The purpose of this series of posts was to answer questions posed by those attending West Seattle that Pastor Mark was unable to get to. These are some remaining questions that were asked.

Q: “I’ve gone thru the steps of Mt 18:15 with a church member who sinned against me. However, that person refuses to repent and is now a church leader. What is the next step?”

A: If you’ve begun the process provided by Jesus in Mt 18:15-20, there are no signs of repentance and he or she is a church leader you should contact one of the MHC WS pastors to address the issue in full. Email westseattle@marshillchurch.org.

Q: “I have confessed my past sins to my wife before we married. If I remember a sin from the past since being married do I confess? How specific do we get?”

A: Ultimately it depends on the nature of the sin that you recently “remembered”. The principle to follow is to “live in the light” (1 John 1:5-10) by keeping short accounts of sin and maintaining a relationship of openness, honesty, and sincerity with everything on the table. How specific you get is something that you and your wife should talk about and agree upon. Too much detail can cause undue harm and misunderstanding while too little detail can raise suspicions and unnecessary fears. Talk to your wife and work this out together while keeping the goal of oneness in mind. (Gen 2:24)

Q: “How do we handle bitterness toward God over things we don’t and can’t understand?”

A: Repent and let go of your bitterness by trusting in the sovereignty (control of all things) and goodness of God. 1 Corinthians 1:25 says, “For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.” In other words, God’s foolishness is still wiser than the greatest of human wisdom. He is architecting a masterful plan that we do not yet grasp. (1 Cor 13:12) There are many things in life that we will not understand fully (Dt 29:29) but we can trust that he is working all things out for good of those who love him (Rom 8:28; Jer 29:11) – even in the darkest and most difficult of times. (2 Cor 1:9) In the cross of Christ we see most fully that God is for us. The Apostle Paul says it this way, “If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Rom 8:31-32) Allow difficulties, hardships, letdowns, pain and disappointments drive you to Jesus not away from him. He is sufficient. (2 Cor 12:9-10)

Q: “What do you do if the person never changes their actions…how long do you keep the relationship?”

A: It depends what the actions are and what the relationship is. Forgiveness can be given but trust may take time to be rebuilt. Communicate clearly, pray for discernment and seek wisdom in community.

Q: “Is it ever ok for a married man to take his wedding ring off?”

A: In general a man should wear his wedding ring, as an outward symbol of his covenantal marriage relationship with his wife (Gen 2:24), at all times. There are exceptions, of course. There could be circumstances he removes it for a certain period of time in order to prevent it from being damaged (e.g. changing oil, operating machinery, undergoing surgery, etc). Additionally, over the course of life, weight gain, arthritis, or injury may occur that prevent the ring from fitting rightly on the finger so the ring should be re-fit or placed on a different finger. On the other hand, removing it to go out clubbing or give the impression to others that he is single (which is what it does when a ring is not worn) is clearly sinful. Ultimately the question is one of the heart. Personally, I haven’t removed my wedding ring since our wedding day over seven years ago.

Q: “How do you forgive yourself of your own past sin after true repentance to God?”

A: We don’t need to forgive ourselves because we don’t sin against ourselves*, as though we have a “sinful side” that sins against our “non-sinful side” and the “non-sinful side” needs to forgive the “sinful side”. We sin as a whole person (Rom 3:10-18; Eph 2:1; Col 2:13) and need forgiveness from God as a whole person. God is always the most highly offended party when we sin (Ps 51:4). Therefore, the primary and most important forgiveness that we need is from God. If after repenting of your sin you still experience guilt and shame for months on end it is likely because your real god (i.e. performance, a person, control, comfort, etc) hasn’t forgiven you. False gods (or idols) promise happiness, control, pleasure, joy outside of relationship with Jesus Christ but they never deliver and they are completely unforgiving. Repent of trying to forgive yourself and run, trust, depend, and hope in Jesus for true and complete forgiveness.

*In 1 Cor 6:18 Paul does say that a “sexually immoral person sins against his own body” but he is referring to the body (or flesh) as an inanimate object, even more as the “temple of the Holy Spirit”. Paul would not say that the “body” should forgive the self for being sinned against. Even here, ultimately it is God that is being sinned against as the body is his temple.

Q: “Can you be bitter against yourself and if so how do you reconcile?”

A: Same as above.

Q: “If a husband wants a wife to look a way that makes the wife feel horrible, what’s a wife to do?”

A: The goal within marriage is oneness (Gen 2:24). Neither spouse should be put into a situation where his or her conscience is being violated as that would not promote oneness. Ultimately, it is the responsibility of the husband to love, protect, and shepherd his wife (Eph 5:25-33) through circumstances such as this. Be sure to maintain open, honest, loving, regular communication as you work through these issues together revealing your insecurities, pains, and fears to one another. If it doesn’t seem like you’re getting anywhere it could be helpful to seek out counsel from an older Christian couple in your community group. If you don’t know anyone email westseattle@marshillchurch.org and we’ll help you out.

Q: “How can a wife successfully balance being visually generous and still dress modestly, as when the couple goes out on a date?”

A: The modest dress occurs in public and the visually generous dress occurs at home.

Q: “A friend of mine constantly sends her boyfriend nude photo texts ‘to be sure he’s thinking about only her.’ Is this at all acceptable?”

A: No. (Eph 5:3)

Q: “Are there any plans for Pastor Mark to rotate his presence at all MHC locations?”

A: Not currently.

For more questions and answers from the Song of Songs series, check out:

Pastor Adam’s Full Follow Up Q&A List

Sermon and Q&A Session Audio/Video

Pastor Mark’s Q&A on MHC Blog

From Sept 21st thru Nov 30th, 2008 Mars Hill Church studied the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon). The series, called The Peasant Princess, addressed important, albeit controversial, issues pertaining to gender, marriage, relationships, dating and sex. You can listen and watch previous sermons in this series, among many others, at westseattle.marshillchurch.org under “Media”. You can also follow this link to read questions and answers on Christian Sex (mature content warning) that Pastor Mark addressed on the Mars Hill Church blog.

The purpose of this series of posts was to answer questions posed by those attending West Seattle that Pastor Mark was unable to get to. These are some remaining questions that were asked.

Q: “What do we do with pet sin (ongoing known sin)?”

A: Repentance must take place (1 John 1:5-10). For more on what that entails listen to week 6 of the Peasant Princess. The first tier of approaching ongoing sin in the life of your spouse is to be honest with one another through regular and loving communication. The second tier is to seek help outside your marriage in community, ideally in a community group. The third tier would be to contact care@marshillchurch.org and walk through the triage process to get assessed in order to determine what level of care you or your spouse may need. This could result in enrollment in a redemption group or an appointment with a biblical counselor.

Q: “I am pregnant and work. My husband says I don’t do enough things around the home, do I just need to suck it up and do more?”

A: In the end, I recommend that your husband work harder so that you can stay at home and take care of it and the child that you are expecting. That would solve the problem. (cf 1 Tim 5:8)

Q: “Do you think counseling is an option when problems just seem too big to handle on our own?”

A: First, start in community. Most problems don’t need a trained counselor to address but input from loving brothers and sisters. If you’re not in a community group, I recommend finding one near you that meets on a convenient night. Email westseattlecommunity@marshillchurch.org for more information. However, if the issues in your life are beyond the scope of those in your group it may very well be time to request additional help. If you need help or an outside perspective on what your next step should be email care@marshillchurch.org.

Q: “You say you can’t forgive without Jesus, but what about those who don’t have Jesus. Are you saying they can’t forgive properly?”

A: Without Jesus you can’t forgive deeply for two primary reasons. First, Christians understand they are sinners who are forgiven and saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, apart from anything they have done. (Eph 2:8-9) Therefore Christians live lives of grace, forgiving much just as they’ve been forgiven much. (Eph 4:32) Unbelievers who have not experienced the grace of God in Jesus will not be able to give than same grace to others.

Secondly, Christians understand that God deals justly with all sin, which makes it possible to forgive deeply. On the one hand, God poured out his just punishment for our sin on Jesus Christ on the cross – for all who would believe in him. God doesn’t merely forgive our sin by forgetting it, but rather by punishing another in our place – Jesus Christ. (1 Cor 15:3-5) On the other hand, God promises to one day justly judge all those who do not believe in Jesus Christ for their sin. (Heb 9:27)

Either way, a Christian understands that God is just and that he will in one way or another justly deal with all sin (for Christians on the cross and non-Christians ultimately at the day of judgment). Knowing this, and that he or she has been forgiven much, the Christian is able to forgive much more deeply and profoundly than those outside of relationship with Jesus Christ.

Q: “How do I ask someone to forgive me when they will not talk to me?”

A: Deal with your sin before God first (1 John 1:9) and then do what you can (email, letter, note, etc), pray and wait for the Lord’s timing. (Ps 31:24; 33:20; 130:5)

Q: “Is physical violence or threat of it forgivable in a marriage?”

A: All sin is forgivable (Mt 12:31; 18:21-22) but there are ramifications for sin, some of which are greater than others (e.g. going to jail). Forgiveness is not the same as trust. You can forgive someone but not trust him. You can forgive someone but still report him to the police because a crime has occurred. If you are in a dangerous position it’s important that you remove yourself from that environment and let someone know, such as your community group, immediately. If you’re on your own email westseattle@marshillchurch.org for help.

Q: “How do you practice restitution when money is not involved?”

A: Money will not be involved in most cases. Rather, restitution will often take the form of changing your way of sinful living, being in community, living in the light and taking daily steps to rebuild what was broken through sin (character, integrity, reputation, trust, respect, relationships, time lost, etc).

Q: “What are the best scriptures to meditate on for forgiveness in relationships?

A: Here are some places to start – Eph 4:32; Col 3:13; Mt 18:21-22; Mt 6:14; Luke 6:35-37.

Q: “How long do you keep forgiving someone who keeps sinning against you?”

A: (Mt 18:21-22) 21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

Q: “What are you supposed to do when someone sins against you but they are not convicted and/or don’t even realize that they’re hurting you?”

A: Without knowing all of the details I’ll provide a few suggestions. First, it’s important to assess your own heart and forgive them regardless of their (or lack of) response. Second, use discernment in determining when to “overlook an offense” (Pr 19:9) and when it is appropriate to lovingly confront. They may not even know the effect their words or actions are having upon you until you talk to them directly. Don’t let it drag on longer than necessary but deal with it as soon as possible. (Eph 4:26)

For more questions and answers from the Song of Songs series, check out:

Pastor Adam’s Full Follow Up Q&A List

Sermon and Q&A Session Audio/Video

Pastor Mark’s Q&A on MHC Blog (MATURE CONTENT)

From Sept 21st thru Nov 30th, 2008 Mars Hill Church studied the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon). The series, called The Peasant Princess, addressed important, albeit controversial, issues pertaining to gender, marriage, relationships, dating and sex. You can listen and watch previous sermons in this series, among many others, at westseattle.marshillchurch.org under “Media”. You can also follow this link to read questions and answers on Christian Sex (mature content warning) that Pastor Mark addressed on the Mars Hill Church blog.

The purpose of this series of posts was to answer questions posed by those attending West Seattle that Pastor Mark was unable to get to. These are some remaining questions that were asked.

Q: “I’m divorced. I know it’s a sin. I have had a hard time forgiving myself. I have asked God’s forgiveness. I really don’t know – can I ever get married again?”

A: The only forgiveness that ultimately matters is God’s forgiveness, which is received in faith. (Ps 103:11,12; Isa 53:6; Rom 6:23; Eph 2:8,9; 1Jn 1:9) It would be ideal to speak with others in your community group about this. If you’re not in a group email westseattlecommunity@marshillchurch.org. Otherwise, email care@marshillchurch.org to set up a time to meet with a pastor to discuss your divorce and whether remarriage is a possibility. Our primary goal, when possible, is to bring about full reconciliation and remarriage.

Q: “I believe my Christian ex-wife, whom I sinfully married & divorced, still suffers. I’m remarried & worshipping. How can or should I serve my ex? Thru her dad?”

A: There are some questions that are too complicated, due to a myriad of unknown variables, to answer in this format and this is one of them. Much of the answer will be dependent upon what your new wife is comfortable with. You are responsible for her and technically no longer responsible for your ex-wife who now falls back underneath her father’s covering. However, if she has certain tangible needs (such as financial) as a result of the divorce it could be appropriate for you to help. Going through her father would be the preferred means of communication. Make sure to check whether your motivation is to truly help or atone for what has happened in the past. If you’d like to meet with a pastor to discuss further email care@marshillchurch.org.

Q: “I’m a gal who has a good male friend. He is a Christian, has a job, but I am not physically attracted to him. Is that important or should I date him?”

A: First, it’s important that you’re attracted to the whole person – intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and physically – because it is the whole package that you’re after. However, that said, physical attraction is only as important as it is to you. For most, some level of physical attractiveness is important, but over the years it’s also the one that is going to change the most. You’re not obligated to respond to his leadings, but it may also be a good opportunity. You have freedom here and should seek wisdom in prayer and the counsel of others in your community.

Q: “There is this a young lady I’m totally into although she has no faith. I would like to finish your relationships series with her. What would you recommend here?”

A: A similar question was asked here during week one under, “What about Christians marrying non-Christians?” The purpose of courting/dating is marriage therefore I would not recommend dating a non-Christian for the reasons laid out in the post linked above.

Q: “Can volunteering too much be a fox?”

A: Yes, anything inside the marriage that threatens to weaken marital intimacy, disrupt connectedness, and increase distance between a husband and a wife is a “fox”.

Q: “For singles what steps can we take to transform our selfish mindset in preparation for marriage?”

A: Growing out of selfishness, and thus in service to others, is a life long process that all Christians are called to whether they are single or married. We see this clearly in Jesus’ summation of the second greatest commandment, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mt 22:39) We see it also in Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them…” (Mt 7:12) The primary way we grow in humility and other-centeredness is by bending all of our energies to finding our greatest delight, joy and hope outside of ourselves and in Jesus Christ. (Mt 13:44,45) If you want to prepare to be a good husband or wife, put all your energies into pursuing Jesus, not merely character traits. The character will follow your passionate pursuit of deep, abiding relationship with Jesus Christ.

For more questions and answers from the Song of Songs series, check out:

Pastor Adam’s Full Follow Up Q&A List

Sermon and Q&A Session Audio/Video

Pastor Mark’s Q&A on MHC Blog

From Sept 21st thru Nov 30th, 2008 Mars Hill Church studied the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon). The series, called The Peasant Princess, addressed important, albeit controversial, issues pertaining to gender, marriage, relationships, dating and sex. You can listen and watch previous sermons in this series, among many others, at westseattle.marshillchurch.org under “Media”. You can also follow this link to read questions and answers on Christian Sex (mature content warning) that Pastor Mark addressed on the Mars Hill Church blog.

The purpose of this series of posts was to answer questions posed by those attending West Seattle that Pastor Mark was unable to get to. These are some remaining questions that were asked.

Q: “How do you handle the sexual side of a marriage when the husband is angry, harsh and emotionally unpredictable?”

A: There are too many variables to provide an adequate answer here, but I’ll outline some parameters. First, if you’re in a physically abusive relationship then you need to let someone know and remove yourself from that environment. Second, it sounds as though your husband has an anger problem and should likely seek help. Third, do what you can to clearly communicate how his anger affects the marriage and, specifically, marital intimacy. Fourth, it sounds like it could be helpful to see a biblical counselor together, email care@marshillchurch.org.

Q: “My husband and I are members and we are healing from an affair my husband had. How can we work on healing our sexual relationship after that pain?”

A: A similar question was asked and answered here under “I am newly married and recently found out my husband had an emotional affair. We are seeking counseling, but how can I find the security needed to trust him going forward?”

Q: “The passion in my marriage is gone. What can I do as a husband to become more passionate for my wife?”

A: Emotions tend to rise and fall, come and go, so it is crucial that we do not base our relationships on them but on the truth of the Bible. Is there sin present? How often do you take time to connect? Are you working too much? Are you intentionally pursuing her? When is the last time you bought her flowers? Took her on weekend getaway? Wrote her a note? Surprised her with anything?

There are times when we feel like acting a certain way and other times when we need to act until we feel as we ought. In other words, sometimes we feel our way into acting but often we need to act our way into feeling because our emotions are unpredictable and not the best measure of reality.

Eph 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” which means that husbands are called to do anything up to and including dying for their wife. That includes passionately perusing your wife even if you’re not passionate at the time. Verses 28-19 go on to say, “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.” Do you view, protect, and care for your wife as though she were your own body?

Here are several ideas to stoke the embers of passion in your marriage.
• Ask the Holy Spirit to convict you of any sin that may be causing the lack of passion. If convicted, confess it to your wife and repent.
• Practice loving your wife as your own body, per Eph 5:28-29. Every time you get hungry, bathe, clean, workout, eat, drink, get dressed, take vitamins, floss, relax or do anything for the benefit of your body say or do something for your wife to express your love and care for her.
• Plan to surprise her with something once per week. It doesn’t have to be big. If you don’t have a weekly date night established begin this week.
• Read Sex, Romance and the Glory of God by C.J. Mahaney for more on this topic.

Q: “For singles who’ve awakened desire, thru past relationships or marriage, how do you put it back to sleep?”

A: A similar question was asked and answered here under “It says in SOS ‘do not arouse or awaken love until it desires’ with that in mind, how would you advise singles with more active imaginations?” The principle is the same.

Q: “I’m in an abusive relationship with a Christian man. What should I do?”

A: You need to let someone know and remove yourself from that relationship immediately. It doesn’t matter whether he claims to be a Christian or not. Your safety is of preeminent importance. Talk to your community group or email westseattle@marshillchurch.org.

For more questions and answers from the Song of Songs series, check out:

Pastor Adam’s Full Follow Up Q&A List

Sermon and Q&A Session Audio/Video

Pastor Mark’s Q&A on MHC Blog (MATURE CONTENT)

From Sept 21st thru Nov 30th, 2008 Mars Hill Church studied the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon). The series, called The Peasant Princess, addressed important, albeit controversial, issues pertaining to gender, marriage, relationships, dating and sex. You can listen and watch previous sermons in this series, among many others, at westseattle.marshillchurch.org under “Media”. You can also follow this link to read questions and answers on Christian Sex (mature content warning) that Pastor Mark addressed on the Mars Hill Church blog.

The purpose of this series of posts was to answer questions posed by those attending West Seattle that Pastor Mark was unable to get to. These are some remaining questions that were asked.

Q: “Sometimes when my wife is out of town I get lonely so I masturbate to thoughts of her. Am I sinning?”

A: Yes. The goal within marriage is ‘oneness’ per Gen 1:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” If your wife is not in the room or on the phone then oneness isn’t being cultivated in your marriage. “Phone sex” with your wife could be an option used with caution, but it should be the exception and not the norm as long as both you and your wife are onboard. You may also find questions #15 and #16 answered by Pastor Mark, found here, helpful.

Q: “Would you agree that rejection, in addition to saying “no” to sex, can also show appear in different forms, such as a lack of respect, attention to love language, etc?”

A: Yes. Rejection is often birthed out of deeper relational issues and reveals itself in various ways. (Mk 7:21-23) Frequent “no’s” to marital intimacy, regular lack of respect and/or inattention to the specific love language of your spouse are all signs of deeper heart issues that need to be worked through together. The key is communication. Consider seeking counsel, support and prayer within your community group or email care@marshillchurch.org to schedule a time with a biblical counselor.

Q: “How can newlyweds who have stayed pure till marriage foster intimacy & safeguard against selfishness?”

A: Maintain open lines of communication and agreed upon expectations. One suggestion is to work through a book together on marital intimacy, such as Celebration of Sex by Douglas Rosenau. Doing so will help foster conversation, promote questions, reveal insecurities and establish a common foundation that you build together. Other books that have been recommended throughout this series include: Intimacy Ignited, Intimate Issues, and Gift Wrapped by God. These are all available for purchase in the West Seattle Resource Center.

Q: “My husband is wonderful but I feel like we don’t read the bible or pray together enough. We have a baby and we don’t get enough time to focus on us.”

A: My first question is, “Have you talked with him about it?” My second question is, “Do you and your husband get a regular date night?” It will be helpful for you and your husband to define what “enough” looks like and then reconfigure your schedule accordingly. Having children definitely makes things more complicated, requiring greater creativity and flexibility, but not impossible. When planning, you’re not looking for the ironclad plan that will work indefinitely but for what will work in your current season of life. The plan will continually adjust as more kids arrive and seasons of life change.

Practically what this currently looks like, for Jen and I, is that we have a brief devotion time as a family in the AM (couple Bible stories, song and prayer). At some point in the day, definitely on our weekly date nights, we discuss what we’re each learning and being challenged by in our Bible reading. After Carter goes to bed we typically grab some time to pray together. This is what currently works for us but we know it will change over time.

If you’re not in a community group, I recommend getting plugged-in so that you can be in community with other young couples who are experiencing the same challenges and older couples who may have some wisdom to share.

Q: “My wife says that oral sex makes her feel like a prostitute. What are some ways I can serve her and help her gain a redeemed view of this?”

A: First, Pastor Mark addressed something similar to this during the first week of the series in “Let Him Kiss Me” in which he described how our attitudes towards sex typically fit into one of three categories: “Gross”, “God” or “Gift. If you and your wife haven’t heard it, I recommend it. Use the sermon as a springboard into discussing “why” your wife feels as she does. Second, I recommend reading Celebration of Sex, by Douglas Roseau, so that you can work through these issues together and establish a common foundation. Third, love her by touching her mind before her body so that she knows without a doubt that you are not using her but loving her. C.J. Mahaney wrote a helpful little book full of practical tips on how to do this entitled Sex, Romance and the Glory of God.

For more questions and answers from the Song of Songs series, check out:

Pastor Adam’s Full Follow Up Q&A List

Sermon and Q&A Session Audio/Video

Pastor Mark’s Q&A on MHC Blog

From Sept 21st thru Nov 30th, 2008 Mars Hill Church studied the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon). The series, called The Peasant Princess, addressed important, albeit controversial, issues pertaining to gender, marriage, relationships, dating and sex. You can listen and watch previous sermons in this series, among many others, at westseattle.marshillchurch.org under “Media”. You can also follow this link to read questions and answers on Christian Sex (mature content warning) that Pastor Mark addressed on the Mars Hill Church blog.

The purpose of this series of posts was to answer questions posed by those attending West Seattle that Pastor Mark was unable to get to. These are some remaining questions that were asked.

Q: What does a wife do that is deserted by a man who claims God as Solomon did?

A: This needs to be worked through in person and can’t be adequately addressed in this context. Don’t go it alone. Get in touch with us. It’s important that you work through this in community. Email care@marshillchurch.org to set up a meeting with a pastor or westseattlecommunity@marshillchurch.org to get in a community group.

Q: How do you encourage your husband to spend time with God (apart from prayer) when it doesn’t seem like he wants to?

A: First, as you mention, be in prayer that God would change his heart and desires. (Acts 16:14; Luke 24:45) Second, even more importantly than spending time with God is determining what he actually believes. Is he really a Christian? Does his life show fruit of being in relationship with Jesus? (Mt 7:15-20; Luke 3:8) There’s no sense encouraging him to spend time with God if your husband is not really in relationship with him. The real question is: Why does he not want to spend time with God? Third, if you haven’t already, let him know that this is an area of concern for you and an area in which you would like for him to lead. Fourth, don’t be a nag about it (Pr 27:15), as that will only serve to create further distance, but do lead by example. (1 Cor 7:13-14) Seek opportunities to lovingly share what you are learning during your times in the Bible without trying to “rub it in his face”. Fifth, do what you can to surround him with other men to challenge him perhaps by joining a community group together. To get plugged into a community group email westseattlecommunity@marshillchurch.org.

Q: What is the name of the bible commentator coming here?

A: D.A. Carson will be preaching from the Mars Hill pulpit on Sunday, Dec 7th.

Q: How do I convince my Christian friend to not date a non-Christian girl after he’s been with her for 4 years?

A: Ultimately, your friend has to make that decision for himself but you can help influence him if he’s open to talking about it. I answered a similar question during week one, “What about Christians marrying non-Christians?” Pray for them. Talk to them. Get them involved at Mars Hill. Show them that you are more concerned for their welfare than merely being proven “right” about their relationship. (Php 2:3)

Q: My wife and I have been married 1 year. I was sexually active before meeting her. These sins hinder our intimacy. Can we achieve the Song of Solomon kind of marriage?

A: Yes, though it may take some time as you work through your past and bring it to Jesus together. The key is honest, open communication and bringing your sin (past and present) into the light. (1 John 1:5-10) Depending on your situation it may be helpful for you both to walk through a redemption group together. Whatever the case, it should be addressed and worked through, not merely avoided because it is difficult. You can get connected to a redemption group by emailing redemption@marshillchurch.org.

Q: If Solomon went astray did he lose his salvation?

A: If Ecclesiastes is Solomon’s book of repentance, which some commentators believe, Solomon did end well. Yet, did he lose his salvation along the way? No, the scriptures do not teach that you can lose your salvation if you are truly a Christian. (John 6:38-40; 10:27-29; Ro 8:1; Eph 1:13-14; 1 Peter 1:5) It is possible for a Christian to walk away from the Lord and return later, as it seems is the case with Solomon. It is also possible to look like a Christian for a season but in the end fall away never to turn back. (Mt 7:21-23; Mk 4:16-17; John 15:1-7; 1 John 2:19) Biblically, those who are truly Christians will persevere in faith throughout their lives and those who persevere in faith until the end are truly Christians. (John 8:31-32; Col 1:22-23; Heb 3:12,14) In other words, those who are truly Christians will show their faith by persevering until the end. Far from giving us an excuse for licentious living, this should cause us to trust more deeply and rely more heavily on Jesus. (Php 2:12-13)

Q: What if you are in your twenties and think this is all really gross & it makes you scared of marriage?

A: My first question would be “Why does it seem gross and make you scared?” It may be that you’ve had negative experiences growing up that have left you with a lasting unhealthy view of sex within marriage. Pastor Mark addressed this issue during the first week of the series in “Let Him Kiss Me” in which he described how our attitudes towards sex as typically fitting into one of three categories: “Gross”, “God” or “Gift. If you haven’t watched it, I recommend it. On the other hand, it could also simply be that you’re not ready and God is protecting you until you are (Song 3:5; Pr 4:23). If this is the case, you’ll be ready when it’s time. If you need help sorting out your history and recalibrating your view of sex within marriage email care@marshillchurch.org.

For more questions and answers from the Song of Songs series, check out:

Pastor Adam’s Full Follow Up Q&A List

Sermon and Q&A Session Audio/Video

Pastor Mark’s Q&A on MHC Blog

From Sept 21st thru Nov 30th, 2008 Mars Hill Church studied the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon). The series, called The Peasant Princess, addressed important, albeit controversial, issues pertaining to gender, marriage, relationships, dating and sex. You can listen and watch previous sermons in this series, among many others, at westseattle.marshillchurch.org under “Media”. You can also follow this link to read questions and answers on Christian Sex (mature content warning) that Pastor Mark addressed on the Mars Hill Church blog.

The purpose of this series of posts was to answer questions posed by those attending West Seattle that Pastor Mark was unable to get to. These are some remaining questions that were asked.

Q: “Is it a sin for Sarah Palin to run for V.P.?” (and)
Q: “Is it a sin for a (married) mom to have a job or career?” (and)
Q: “Is it sinful for a wife with kids to provide for a season so her husband can go back to school to become a better provider. He is the sole provider now.”

A: These questions are asking the same thing, “Is it a sin for a mom to have a career outside the home?” I answered a similar question, and its theological foundation, last week under “But what is the woman’s financial responsibility?” Read that first here. I’ll add to it below.

To help answer this question I will quote a section at length from Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother, by Carolyn Mahaney (wife of pastor and author CJ Mahaney) whose primary audience is women asking the questions above:

“So what does God’s Word have to say to wives and mothers about working from home? First, the obvious conclusion we can draw from the Titus 2 (Titus 2:3-5) command – to be “working at home” – is that the principle place of work for wives and mothers is at home. Also, in 1 Timothy Paul counseled the younger widows to marry, bear children, and manage their households (1 Tim 5:14). Then we have the noble woman in Proverbs 31, whom Scripture puts forth as the ideal wife and mother: Home was her sphere of work.

“Scripture is clear that men are responsible to be the providers for the home (1 Tim 5:8), while the women are responsible to be the caretakers of the home. Now the Bible does not say that wives and mothers are never allowed to work outside the four walls of their houses; nor does it preclude them from receiving wages for work. Scripture provides examples of godly women who worked in other settings and earned extra income, but never to the neglect of their families and homes.

“The Proverbs 31 woman is one such model. During her lifetime she pursued many endeavors beyond the confines of her house. She worked among the poor and needy, she traveled, she bought real estate and planted vineyards, she made linen garments and sashes and sold them, she participated in trading – but her primary motive and goal with all these enterprises was to serve her family and home. This woman’s attentiveness to her home is God’s standard for our conduct. Working at home must always remain a constant and ongoing priority in our lives…

“Since God orders our lives in seasons, there will be periods of time when pursuits outside the home will not compromise the quality of our work at home. Obviously, a woman whose children are grown and gone or a woman who does not have children has more discretionary time for efforts beyond her home than a woman with three small children.

“But whenever we contemplate opportunities outside the home, we must first consider what consequences they might have on our families. We must also evaluate our motives. We should ask ourselves questions such as:

• What are my reasons for considering this opportunity? Are they selfish or God-honoring?
• Will pursuing this venture glorify God and honor the gospel?
• Is this an undertaking that will help my husband?
• Will it enhance and enrich the lives of my family?
• Does this endeavor hinder my role as caretaker of my home?

“Questions like these will help us to make wise decisions, for it is imperative that we never lose sight of our primary obligation to our homes.” (Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother, Carolyn Mahaney, pp104-105)

The principle given to us in the Bible is that mothers and wives are to be primarily homeward oriented. Should they consider work outside the home, their obligations to the home must always be kept in view as primary. If they engage in work outside the home it must never be at the expense or neglect of the home and family (e.g. such as if work required children to be regularly left in childcare). What this looks like will invariably change through each season in life, though the underlying principle of remaining homeward oriented remains the same.

Q: “How do I handle a situation where my spouse is protecting and even hiding a fox?”

A: It depends on what type of “fox” it is. Yet, whatever the case may be, you begin by lovingly and prayerfully talking to him about it. A similar question was asked last week here under, “I know a seminary student who has been cheating on his wife. She keeps confronting him, but he apologizes and continues sinning. What should she do now?” What is true of cheating in that case is also true of intentionally hiding “foxes” (which is a form of cheating if your spouse is intentionally sabotaging the marriage).

Q: “If after seeing a Mars Hill counselor, redemption group, accountability, and the “4 horseman” are all still a huge problem – and now we are pregnant – what is a wife to do?”

A: First, the problems in your marriage have taken time to get to the point where they are and it will take some time for things to improve. It is easy to think, “If I only jump through these hoops things will get better”. In reality, its not the “jumping through hoops” that brings change but trusting Jesus while putting into action (Php 2:12-13) the scriptural wisdom of a counselor, working through the redemption group material and living in the light in accountability with another Godly couple – step-by-step, day-by-day. We can’t merely rely on others to change us, though they can significantly help, but must also lead ourselves understanding that we are responsible for our own actions (James 1:14-15; Heb 9:27). Throughout this process it’s important to stay involved in community in which you are being open and honest about your struggles (James 5:16; Heb 10:25). Second, keep in mind that it is the Lord who opens and closes the womb (Jer 1:5; Isa 49:5; Isa 44:24). He knows what you’re going through and that adding pregnancy to the equation seemingly complicates things (Ps 139). It seems he is bringing you two to the end of yourselves – the point at which you have nowhere else to go but to Jesus. That’s exactly where he wants you. If you need to recalibrate, it may be helpful to return to the Mars Hill pastor or counselor that you were seeing to set-up a plan for moving forward and then work the plan. If you’re not in a community group, get plugged in be emailing westseattlecommunity@marshillchurch.org.

Q: “Does verse 2:15 imply that the primary responsibility for catching the little foxes belongs to the husband?”

A: It could, but I wouldn’t use it as my primary supporting text. One of the basic principles of studying the Bible is to let the explicit texts (that which is clear) interpret the implicit texts (that which is not so clear) to prevent the reader from reading a particular meaning into an unclear text. The way to be faithful to the scriptures as you study them, and avoid misinterpretation, is to check scripture with scripture. I’d say that the interpretation “the responsibility for catching the little foxes belongs to the husband” is, at best, implicit in this text. That doesn’t mean that statement is false, rather it is unclear whether that is the meaning of that particular text. There are other texts that support that statement much more clearly, such as Eph 5:25-30.

Q: “What do you say to those of us who have never been in a relationship and marriage looks grim in our future?”

A: First, there were a couple questions pertaining to singleness last week that you may find helpful, particularly “Do I have to be married to be happy?” Second, the fact that you have never been in a relationship is not a valid indicator of whether you will ever be married. It could just mean that your first boyfriend or girlfriend will be your future spouse and that is a much more beautiful thing than having dated around. Third, I’d say put your faith in the infinite God of the Bible and not your own finite assessment of the future. Our assessment of the future is always wrong because we don’t know the future. But, our good God does know the future and, in Christ, he is for us (Jer 29:11-13; Mt 11:28-30). This is why Paul could confidently pray “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think…” (Eph 3:20) In the meantime, pray for your future spouse, proceed in faith, use this season of singleness for the Lord, know that God has your best in mind, and don’t forget to look right in front of you – you never know whom God may place there.

Q: “I am newly married and recently found out my husband had an emotional affair. We are seeking counseling, but how can I find the security needed to trust him going forward?”

A: I’m so sorry to hear that. First, unfortunately it’s going to take some time for the trust to be rebuilt and for you to feel safe. Second, though security needs to be rebuilt with your husband, in Christ, you are secure and protected by God the Father (Ps 139). You are not alone (Mt 10:26-33). Third, thank God that it is out in the light and that you are able to seek counseling together. It is often through the most difficult of times that God changes us the most. My encouragement to you both is to be actively involved in the process, seek Jesus together, pray for one another, be open about what’s taking place in your heart, express your concerns, take lots of time for one another and find a godly older couple whom you can learn from. A significant amount of time needs to be spent rebuilding the foundation, just make sure you do so in community. Stay connected. If you’re not in a community group email westseattlecommunity@marshillchurch.org to get plugged in.

For more questions and answers from the Song of Songs series, check out:

Pastor Adam’s Full Follow Up Q&A List

Sermon and Q&A Session Audio/Video

Pastor Mark’s Q&A on MHC Blog

From Sept 21st thru Nov 30th, 2008 Mars Hill Church studied the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon). The series, called The Peasant Princess, addressed important, albeit controversial, issues pertaining to gender, marriage, relationships, dating and sex. You can listen and watch previous sermons in this series, among many others, at westseattle.marshillchurch.org under “Media”. You can also follow this link to read questions and answers on Christian Sex (mature content warning) that Pastor Mark addressed on the Mars Hill Church blog.

The purpose of this series of posts was to answer questions posed by those attending West Seattle that Pastor Mark was unable to get to. These are some remaining questions that were asked.

Q: “The trend for marriages these days is for it to happen later in life, that with more social acceptance of sexuality, what is a young Christian man to do?”

A: First, you have to realize that you are not a victim, which your question seems to imply. The world and its desires (lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and boastful pride of life; 1 John 2:15-17) have always been the seedbed of sin (Gen 3:6) and we are all fully responsible for our own actions (James 1:14-15). Second, remember, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Cor 10:13) This means that we are not left on our own, but that God is faithful and ever-present amidst temptation always providing a way out. During the series Religion Saves: And Nine Other Misconceptions, Pastor Mark preached a sermon on sexual sin that you might find helpful. Third, rather than allowing your understanding of marriage and sexuality to be determined by the culture, allow it to be shaped by scripture (Rom 12:1-2; 2 Cor 10:5) and the reading of other good books. Fourth, pray for your future wife and in the meantime prepare to be a husband by leaving your parents home, getting a job, paying down debt, getting rid of sin and growing in your relationship with Jesus. Fifth, get involved in community (particularly with good brothers), begin serving and stay busy (Eph 4:28).

Q: “I know a seminary student who has been cheating on his wife. She keeps confronting him, but he apologizes and continues sinning. What should she do now?”

A: She should continue to prayerfully pursue him, asking loving questions, and with him attempt to seek help. The cheating should not be brushed under the rug of an empty apology, but dealt with. She should lovingly point out that Jesus is not merely looking for an apology but repentance that results in an actual change of behavior. If he is caught up in an addiction or adulterous relationship they can begin the process of getting help by emailing care@marshillchurch.org. If he does not respond, she should get others involved (Matthew 18:15-20) such as close friends, community group and/or a pastor and ensure she is in a place of safety (which should include an STD check if adultery is occurring), all the while praying that her husband’s heart would be brought to change.

Q: “Do I have to be married to be happy?”

A: No, you can be completely unhappy and married as well. The issue isn’t one of happiness, but of what your happiness is built upon. Building your quality of life on relationships with others that you either have or don’t have will inevitably lead to frustration and disappointment, not to mention tremendous pressure on those you enter into relationship with. Jesus said, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (Jn 10:10) This does not mean that if we believe in Jesus we will always be happy, but it does mean that when we’re in relationship with Jesus we’re living life as we were intended to live, which will inevitably result in greater joy. Living life in any other way, Jesus tells us, is like “a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” (Mt 7:26-27) This would include building your life on the idea that you have to be married to be happy or you have to be single to be happy. The premise is false. Building your life on Jesus is like “a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.” (Mt 7:24-25) Build your life on Jesus and allow that to set the terms of your relationships.

Q: “It says in SOS ‘do not arouse or awaken love until it desires.’ With that in mind, how would you advise singles with more active imaginations?”

A: Our imaginations are much like our stomachs. They respond differently to different foods. If you eat ½ dozen Krispy Kreme original donuts hot off the rack your taste buds will thank you but your stomach will hate you. On the other hand, if you eat healthy you’ll feel better, have more energy and, in time, actually begin to prefer to eat healthy foods. The principle is true of our ways of thinking, including our imaginations. If we feed our mind with good things we will, think good things. This is why Paul tells us to think about “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable…and the God of peace will be with you.” (Php 4:8-9) This is why Paul tells the Colossians to “Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” (Col 3:2) We are responsible for what we think about, dwell on, and allow to linger in our imaginations. This is why Paul also says, “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ…” (2 Cor 10:5) All of this is part of what it means to “be transformed by the renewal of your mind” (Rom 12:2) and loving God with all your mind (Mt 22:37). In other words, offensively, we think bible-saturated, Jesus-centered thoughts. Defensively, we take every thought captive that does not do so and give it to Jesus.

Q: “But what is the woman’s financial responsibility?”

A: Both men and women are created in the image of God, equal in dignity, value and worth. (Gen 1:27) While equal they differ in form and function. This means that within marriage the husband and wife form a team on which each person plays a specific God created role, which they carry out for the good of the team as a whole. It is the role of the man to protect, care for, provide for and lead his family. It is the role of the woman to be homeward oriented, managing the home and pouring into the children. (Titus 2:3-4; Pr 31:10-31) This isn’t popular in our culture because our culture doesn’t value being a mother and having children and unfortunately many, including many Christians, have bought into the lie. This can and will look different in different families in different seasons, but the underlying principle is that the man is ultimately responsible for the health and well being of the family – a primary part of which is providing financially. He is not to be cruel, absent or ambivalent but is to love and serve his family as Christ loved and ultimately died for the church. (Eph 5:25) That said, ‘What is the woman’s financial responsibility?” Regarding putting food on the table, she shouldn’t have that financial responsibility. Could there be seasons when this may be the case? Yes, such as if the husband is injured or finishing up school. But, it should be a season, not the norm. The man is called to provide and if he doesn’t do so he has denied the faith (1 Tim 5:8).

Q: “If two Christians have been physically intimate before marriage to one another, will God still bless them in or with marriage?”

A: I suppose the answer to this will depend upon how you are defining “blessing.” Will he forgive you? Yes, if you repent by acknowledging your sin and setting on a course of pursuing holiness and obedience to Jesus, albeit imperfectly. Can he redeem you? Yes. Can he make straight what you’ve made crooked? Yes. Can you lose your salvation? Not if you’re really a Christian. Will he remove all the ramifications of your sin? Not necessarily. The primary blessing of the gospel is not that we get things from God (though we do, such as the breath in our lungs) but that, through faith in Jesus, we enter into relationship with the one and only eternal God. That is the blessing of the gospel. God is the gospel. Sin is about far more than merely missing out on earthly blessings, but rather about breaking relationship with God. The wonder of the gospel is that when we trust in Jesus for the forgiveness of sin (Isa 53:6; Ps 103:11-12) we are, by grace, no longer under condemnation (Rom 8:1) but accepted as sons and daughters of God. So when difficulty and hardship do come we know it is not punishment but part of God’s discipline and loving instruction (Heb 12:7) in making us more like him and dependent on him for his glory and our good. (2 Cor 1:9) Seek Jesus with your potential spouse and as you grow closer to him you will inevitably grow closer to one another.

For more questions and answers from the Song of Songs series, check out:

Pastor Adam’s Full Follow Up Q&A List

Sermon and Q&A Session Audio/Video

Pastor Mark’s Q&A on MHC Blog